Indecisive

Yesterday my mum called again.This time she asked again the 'deadly' question;have i decided my wedding date?Aiyoh!'It's ringing again.It was the toughest question i ever asked.Tougher than my uni exams.Tougher than ptd exam.I know she never mean to meddle my decision.She just worried what would my fiance's say bcoz' during the engagement ceremony,we've agreed to engage in a short time,meaning less than a year.
May be for many people,question like this would pressure them but not for me bcoz' i know my mum would understand.Why not bcoz' she should relieved bcoz' i've found my soulmate & at last i've agreed to end my singlehood life :) .I never felt pressure even though almost all my same age friends & cousins got married.I never tensed up even though i found my soulmate at the age of middle 30's.

Back to wedding date.I've discussed a few times with my fiance about the date but we can't decide it yet bcoz' of unavoided reason.We agreed to wed within this year as we don't want to prolong our engagement.People said,lots of challenges faced by enagaged couple.& it's not that we're too eager to wed,it just we don't want to wait any longer.We should never delay good things.& we're tired of doing the 'sin' anymore,hahaha.

Actually we've decided to do the feast during school break & weekend bcoz' easy for my siblings & relatives to attend.The coming school break is on end of may/early june but we can't bcoz' no preparation yet.After that,august.Last time we've decided to wed on august but yesterday after a brief discussion with my mum & fiance,may be we have to find another date.August is ok since it's in the middle of the year but the problem is my sister in-law is going to give birth on end of july & surely she can't attend the wedding on august.A week after the proposed date is fasting month.The school brake is only a week so when should we hold the feast?Beginning or end of the break?We can't hold it in the middle of the week bcoz' others are working.So,we're confuse now.When oh when?

My brother suggested we hold it after hari raya.It means early oct.Erm,that mean we've to wait longer.Actually i never imagine i have to wait that long.I mentioned it to my mum & surprisingly she's not against it bcoz' all our family can attend the feast as it's hold on long holiday.But i just worried what will my fiance's family say about it?My mum worried if my fiance can't want that long.She said if my fiance decided to get married on august,we can still held the feast after hari raya.Nikah gantung dulu.But when i mentioned it to my fiance,he thought it's better to hold the wedding ceremony & the feast on the same day;save money & time.

My fiance merely agrees my suggestion.Surely he agreed bcoz' the longer we postpone the longer time he had to save money for the ceremony.He assured me his family won't say anything as they will only follow his decision.If that so,its better.But one thing we agreed,not later than oct.But we've to discuss again bcoz' it's not final yet.Many things have to be considered.But for now,the date is either on 3rd or 4th oct 2008.But as i said b4,it's not final.

For me?It don't bother me of how or when.It's not that i don't care.It's just that i don't want to think about it all the time.It will only give me headache.It's true i want to marry my long loved fiance.It's not true that the desire to tie the knot has fade out. But i don't want to look desperate or too eager.I believed when the time comes,we'll get married no matter what comes or tries to stop us.The most important thing now is to work harder for the money.No money,no talk.It's time to save.

Thanks mum for understanding me,for not pressuring me,for ur support.Thanks abang for ur ever lasting love,for ur consideration,for believing me sincerely.Let's take good care our love.Let's make our dream into reality.May god bless us.