Disagreement

Why some people seem to like to disagree?Why do some simple disagreements can turn into major conflicts which can damage relationships?Why we should avoid conflicts?How can we make the disagreement healthy & productive?How to communicate effectively within disagreements?
These are the questions people,i'm also,keeps wondering when disagreements do happen.But we should differentiate between disagreement & conflict.Disagreement is a difference of opinion whereas conflict is a astrong disagreement.Conflict is different than disagreement bcoz' of its -ve effect.We disagree for new ideas, better ways of doing things, change, innovations, better use of resources, new skills".-Quote-
To disgree is natural.For me,disagreement is ok bcoz' we can obtain new & better ideas & ways.But we should stop b4 disagreement turns to conflict bcoz' we can't control conflict & it is harder to manage. So,the solution for disagreement is TOLERANCE.

When 2 people (or more) live together,disagreement will happen bcoz' everyone have different opinion, ideas & needs. Like me & my fiance,at least once a week (sometimes almost everyday) we'll have disagreement.Even though we had known each other 6++ years,we just can't stop disagree with each other.Sometimes it turns into a conflict. He's the man with a lot of egoes & i know he wont give up easily in every argument.So to avoid biogger conflict,i'll stop talking.I'll get out of his sight for awhile,let him cool of.So,for us this is the way to stop the conflict from worsen.

Even though we have manage our last disagreement very well,we still have some to resolve.We still can't decide how to decorate or in easy word,arrange the things in my house.I've allow him to arrange the furniture in my room (going to be our room soon).But now we can't decide where to put my (our) kitchen. Based on the actual house plan,the kitchen is in the house.But the house has a ventilation area,so the landlord changed it into a kitchen.She (the landlord) has fixed an awning,sink & water taps at that area.Since the actual kitchen in small & narrow,i decide to make it the dry kitchen;i can put the kitchen cabinet & fridge here.Whereas the new area can be the wet kitchen where i can cook,cleaning the dish & preparing the ingredients.So that it's much easier to manage & i can cook in comfortable area.No more smell entering the whole house.& people can't see any ugly sights or mess in the kitchen bcoz' right now the actual kitchen can bee seen directly when we open the main entrance.
The problem is my fiance disagree bcoz' he said he didn't feel comfortable at this new space.Since most of the time he use/will use the kitchen,he wants it to be comfy.I asked him to shift the stove into the new area but until today he ignores it.I felt helpless,so i just let him do as he likes.Do whatever he wants.He said he know how to arrange it.The trouble is i'm not sure what he had in his mind bcoz' he said the same thing when i ask him to clean up the store room & the clothes-line (actually he offered himself to do so) but until today i haven't seen any changes to the store room;it still disarray & the clothes-line hasn't been fastened yet.I know one of his nature is he always delay/put off his duty.
Last time,i have 2 chairs & a table in my previous house.I planned to bring them to the new house but he refused to take them at the very last minute.The reason is they couldn't fit in abang zahar's car.I've told him to hire a lorry but he refused.I asked him to move out in the morning bcoz' it always raining in the evening,but as always he refused.The consequences;his friend (a lorry owner) forgot bcoz' it was already late & our belongings are wet soak by rain.Luckily my boss gave me a new table & chairs but one of the chair broken during our last argument.Don't take it wrong,no violence in our argument but he fling the chair onto the wall to show his anger.
I don't know what will happen in the future when we get married.We always had disagreements but we manage to settle it in a 'matured' way.I'm blessed bcoz' our disagreements make us more mature & positive to face any challenges in marriage life.Disagreements show the true person we are;no pretending,no play-act.Avoiding disagreements only hurt our feelings bcoz' we have to conceal our feeling/emotion.It's ok to disagree bcoz' we can learn each other further.

-Eleanor Roosevelt-