It's Ur Choice

Congrats to my dear friend;ain for getting a new job with a better & higher salary.Last saturday she went for an interview with a singapore based company in balakong for the post of acct assist.Actually she can't even remenber when & where exactly did she applied for it.She was supposed to attend the interview at 9.00am but she only arrived nearly 12.00pm after the interviewer called her several times that day.Actually she has no intention to attend the interview bcoz' she's not confident.Her reason is she's not good in english as she believed the comp used fully english since most of the staff were chinese & it's singapore comp.The other reason is she has no experience working in a factory.So she has no idea of doing manufacturing accts.She also looking forward to work in oil & gas company,not a factory.
But who know,she got it.They even agreed to pay her expected salary (she purposely asked for a high salary in hoping they will reject her).They wanted her to start this coming 2nd of june.She was amazed how she got it bcoz' she spoke broken english during the interview.The problem is she told me she's in dilemma;accept it or reject it bcoz' she was afraid.I told her to accept it & never look back.She got nothing to loose as the workplace is the same distance from her current office.She has a transport,so she has no problem at all.She said she don't know the manufacturing accts but the comp agreed to teach her as long as she want to learn.So,what's the problem now?Most of us are working in unfamiliar industry.We all started from zero.
She said,if she change job,how will her sister goes to work bcoz' their workplace are far away & in the opposite direction (actually now they work in the same comp).I asked her,does this mean her sister ha sto follow her wherever she works?It's not easy to get a job nowadays & it's ever harder to get a job at the same comp & at the same time.So,she has to sacrifice.She has to let her sister goes in her own way.She has to be independent sooner or later.
She always complain that her manager was very lousy.She had to do all the job but finally the credit goes to her manager.But when problems occured,she had to take the responsibility,alone.They always argue.She felt she's in an unsafe position.So,it's better she left now b4 she being sack & without a job.
Now she has lots of debts to pay;housing loan,personal loan,motorbike loan,credit card & may be after this car loan.So she needs more money.Now the new comp offered her higher salary,so she should grab the opportunity.

She has to put aside her fear & doubt.Now it's time to think positive for a better future.She never know when will she get the same opportunity again.Even though it was far from her expectation (bcoz' she prefers to work in oil & gas comp at big city),now it's not the time to be too choosy or picky.May be this is her destiny.May be it's her fate.So why reject something may be fated for her?She won't loose anything.A job is still a job.If u can't adapt urself,u still can try.But if u still can't,u can still shift to another job bcoz' we can't promise our current job is the best or the next job is better.
She has the answers to all her doubts.So now it's her choice.Only she can decide what good or bad for her.Others can only give their opinion but the final decision is hers.

The Truth Has Been Revealed

Today,the truth has been revealed.At last.This morning,my boss calls me.He wanted to see Z as he was coming to the office.He was surprised bcoz' Z & my fiance is the same person.As a result,my boss 'scold' me for hiding this secret.Luckily my fiance back-up me.My boss thought my fiance is someone tough, has credibilty & pleasant.He jokingly said;if i know this is ur bf,i won't allow u engaged with him.U shouldn't accept him as u can find a better person.This kind of person should be 'thrown away' in the dustbin.That was funny.
I don't know how's others reaction especially my lady boss & my project manager.Surely after this i've to get ready to be scolded by my lady boss.Ouch!Surely she will nag me after this.I'm afraid they think i was fooling them on purpose.No.I've no intention to fool them.I know,sooner or later they will know the truth.The time has come.I knew the consequences,so i've to bear it.
Only i hope their faith on me won't change bcoz' after all this time they believe in me 100%.So hopefully this revelation won't change anything.
Anyhow,i'm relieve bcoz' i don't have to carry this burden anymore.Now i can live & work calmly & in peace.
After the meeting,my boss took my fiance to the site project in klang.He wanted to show him the site & the things that should be done.So,it means he has been accepted.So, i guess everything is going to be ok.

Argument Again

Today, i had an arguement again with my fiance. As usual, money. I told him this month, we had to spend wisely as my salary balance was less than b4 bcoz' i had to pay back my personal loans & we just bought a new tv. I told him already but he still spending it as he wish. He wanted to buy this & that, he even want to eat expensive food & even eat out at mamak stall late at night.I reminded him,if want to eat till the end of this month we had to sacrifice.Eat & buy what we can afford.But he wouldn't listen. When i forbid him,he'll react like a children,sulking.
Today,we had no money to eat,no money to buy his cigars, nothing. & as usual, he asked me to find money. Oh,i'm tired of this.I'm tired of borrowing money from others as until today i still owe my brothers & my cousin.I'm not dare make a new loan.I'm tired of asking for an advance from my boss bcoz' just last week,i asked for advance.Not again.How much will left for me next salary?& how are we going to survive next month with a limited money?
He said how can he start working if he got no money?That's his problem bcoz' i already had my problem.I was sad when he accused me of not trying hard enough to find the money?Oh ye,who's the one make sure we eat every month?Whos' the one make sure we have a home for a shelter?He?Not in his life.
I don't care.This time i'm going to wait & see.I don't care if i 've nothing to eat.Thanx goodness the office just a walking distance from my house.I'm just tired.I reminded him a few times.He's the one who want me to move here.I told him,he had to work harder if he wanted a house bcoz' the rental is higher & we even had to pay the utility bills.My debt is increasing.
Why can't he just borrow from his siblings?All his brothers & sisters are working & have their own business.Can't they just lend him some money?When i told him to borrow from his siblings, as usual,excuses.But when he asked me to borrow from my siblings,when i gave excuses,he will scold me,accusing me of not wanting to help him.Oh,sometimes i'm fed-up,i'm tired of this.Why can't he change?For the sake of us?

Enjoy Ur Weekend

and

Bias

My project manager asked me when can my fiance start work as he needs someone to monitor the site project instantly.Actually this is the 2nd time he asked the same question.I just give him a confirmation bcoz' my fiance needs to see my bigg boss first.We don't want others to know the truth b4 him.Furthermore,there're a lot of issues to discuss.For instant the scope of work, working hours, benefits, accomodation, annual leaves & most importantly monthly salary & allowance.

I'm worried if my project manager incharged in this matter bcoz' i know his attitude towards others.Even though he has a lot of experiences in technical jobs & qualified,he likes to underestimate others.Frankly speaking,no one can work long enough under him.During last 3 months,2 site supervisors quit after working not more than 2 months.I know his work technic & it's bad,very bad.Even i can't bear his work attitude.

I know,i must gave him a credit bcoz' at beginning,he taught me how to write a technical letter, how to make a paper work regarding technical jobs & i depends a lot on him when my bog boss asked me to write letters.It's not that i've forgotten his contribution but frankly speaking he's not that good in terms of letter writing.I learned a lot from other directors from our sub company.
Even my big boss can't stand him bcoz' all the projects managed by him uncompleted until now & even my comp has to bear the loss.Project account became disorder.But i have to admit he's good at working paper,apart of grammar & spelling,but in terms of project & work management,he failed.Lots of x-staff worked under him expressed their dissatisfation against him.He always dissappears when problems occurs & he 'cakap tak serupa bikin';he talked this but did that.In the end,site people had to take the responsibility.How can u explained when someone asked something that we didn't say?He likes to promise but can't keep it.That's why he avoided himself from going to the site & if he had to go;for meeting,he will leave the site immediately after the meeting.But in the end,my big boss had to hire him bcoz' he's 'useful'.

I was shocked when he offered rm800 + rm100 (telephone allowance) for monthly salary.He promised (?) he'll revise it after 2 months.Actually i was hoping my boss will offer at least rm1000 excluding the allowance bcoz' even though he has no specific qualification,he has experience in construction.Furthermore he doesn't mind living in the cabin.

Actually i feel it's unfair of him to offer that kind of amount.& i'm not confident if he can keep his promise revising the salary.I don't want to reiterate the past but i know same thing happen previously.The first supervisor was offered rm800 by him excluding transport & telephone allowance & accomodation.After working almost 2 months,that boy was told his salary was inclusive of other allowance & he failed to find a place to live in as promised.He knew that boy was inexperience yet he scolded him when he did some wrongs.I can't blame him if he couldn't last that long.

But the 2nd supervisor was paid rm1200 despite of inexperience bcoz' that boy was his nephew.It is not fair.How come he offered someone he didn't know less than his own relatives?I won't say anything if his nephew was good but he was inexperienced & only last for 1 month.

B4 this,he paid his friend more than other supervisor even though the later was qualified & experienced.He even once paid his own son same salary with other more qualified & experienced staff.Isn't it bias?

So,i just couldn't accept his decision to pay my fiance less than his inexperienced nephew.That's why we had to see my big boss first.He's the one who has power to give final decision.

How Do U Know If He's The One?

You know he is "The One" when God tells you so.
You know he is "The One" when the love you have for each other is not built on worldy standards of "falling into and out of love" but is based on a agape, sacrificial love that endures challenges and "seasons".
You know he is "The One" when you can trust, honor, and obey him knowing that he will help you fulfill whatever purpose God has designed for you.
You know he is "The One" when you can see the Christlike nature in him (that is, he is not consistently seeking selfish advantage and not willfully and knowingly hurting others to achieve some goal).
You know he is "The One" when he has character, integrity, and redeeming values.
Don't trust your heart either.
Trust your inner spirit instead. Your heart will lead you to so many poor choices about love.
Listen to your inner spirit and stop fighting it.
And finally, just remember, what FEELS good to you isn't NECESSARILY good for you.

I remember one said; U just know he's the one when u can't live without him, when u want to share all ur life with him, when u feel he completes u & u completes him, when u don't want others to live between u, when he "changes" u from worst to bad, from bad to good, from good to the best. He will fit effortlessly into your life and world. He cares about you...during the good times and the bad ones. You have no doubt he will still be there no matter what happens. & most importantly he accept u for who u are....not someone he wants u to be.

Commitment

Why do people afraid of commitment?

I once asked by a friend;why don't i get married as i already reached my 30-s?Was it i afraid of commitment?Yes & no.Actually,on that time i have no bf so marriage never comes to my mind yet. Yes, if i had a bf on that time, i can't marry yet bcoz' i have a lot of other commitments. I've to help my parents to support my brothers as they're still in college at that time.I just got my first job at that time & i haven't had the opportunity to reciprocate my parents' sacrifice.I still have other plans in my mind.I was afraid that marriage will stop/hinder my plans.

But then,when i found my bf (now my fiance), i never look back.Suddenly i just feel that i want to commit with him.Furthermore all my brothers has finished their studies.I know i haven't give back my parents things i should give but i realize now it's the time i should think for my own life.I don't have my own house, i don't own a car, i'm not capable to buy or eat whatever i want, i don't have savings, even every month i still have to thrift my salary.But i can't wait to have them all, then i get married.Now, i'm ready for a commitment;marriage.

My friend just bought a house.After this she's planning to buy a car.She already applied for a credit card & just got a personal loan, apart of paying current house rental & his father's car.She met her soulmate but always find excuses in getting married.She's afraid she can't commit to her current commitment.So,she's not ready for another commitment. I told her, if she want to settle all her current commitment, when can she get married?Bcoz' after this she'll find other excuses.

I know she's afraid of new commitment.She afraids she can't commit herself to her new life.She afraid she can't commit herself to her current commitment after committing to new commitment;marriage.

I Miss U Mom

It has been 4 months since i saw my mom.Means that 4 months i didn't go back to my home town.Last time, it was during my engagement day.It's not that i didn't miss her.It's bcoz' i was so bz lately & my financial situation not that good.
Fortunately last week my brother came to kl bcoz' he's going to receive medal/award for his job's excellence at putrajaya.& as usual he brought along my mom.So it was my opportunity to meet her,to ease my longing.Oh i really miss her.Even though we quite often talked on telephone but it's not the same.Seeing her standing infront of me,smiling at me,hugging her,kissing her cheek.

But i only met her for about 2 hours as she arrived with my brothers at my house late at night & they had to go back afterward.I'm happy bcoz' my mom liked my new house.B4 this,she always asked me to move out from my previous house.& now i've found an appropriate house to live in.
After 2 hours talking & chatting,they left to sg buloh,2nd my brother's house.The day after that she's leaving,back to my home town.I don't know when will i see her again.She asked me to come back next month.She wanted to discuss about the wedding.I know it's still early as we've agreed to hold it on oct,but we've to fix the exact date bcoz' there are a lot of things to be done.Erm,i can't promise her.As usual,next month i'm short of money,again.But on June,i'm confident i can go back.Hopefully.
Seeing my mom left made me sad bcoz' i miss her a lot even though i never said that to her.But i know she knew.I always know she miss me too.I miss u mom.I luv u mom.

PAC PTD

Today i receive the most awaiting news.Letter from SPA arrived at last.Call letter to attend the PAC (Program PTD Assessment Centre).

Date: 9th May 2008 - 11th May 2008

Registration Time: 9am - 11am

Venue: Institut Tanah & Ukur Negara,Kementerian Sumber Asli & Alam Sekitar,Behrang,Tanjung Malim,Perak

Tel: 05-4542825

I'm very happy,excited+sad.Happy thing is this is the time i've been waiting for.Excited bcoz' i'm going to the 2nd phase of becoming PTD.It has been almost 5 years ago i attended the same course so i really excited.Even b4 this i'm feed up with the process but this time i'm going to try my luck once more.I'm not hoping too much bcoz' i'm afraid i'll frustrate if i fail.I know this phase is quite difficult bcoz' the course gathered the best among the best candidates.I failed b4 so i know it's hard.I'm not too optimistic but not too pesimistic.Furthermore my fiance encourage me to try again.Who knows this time my luck change?

But i'm quite sad (?) bcoz' of the venue.Tanjung malim.I'm not familiar with that place.Even i haven't been there all my live.My fiance couldn't send me there bcoz' at that time he already start working at banting/klang.So,i'm on my own.Luckily they provide a bus from kuala kubu baru (kkb) to the institute but i've to be there by 9.30am.So,base on that time,i've to leave home as early as 6.00am bcoz i've to take bus from my home to bts commuter station.I'm not sure how long it will take from bts to kkb.I know commuter moves very slow, so better early.After reaching rawang,i have to take another commuter straight to kkb.Erm,i have to be prepared for whatever unexpected things.

I still have 2 more weeks to prepare.But don't know what are the preparations.Maybe buying sport attires (compulsory).Anything else?I just have no idea.Last time the course was quite relax even though we competing each other.I even managed to make a few new friends.Even though i failed,at least i got new experience.& now i have few ideas how the course will be conducted & what are the things i will expect.

Happy Earth Day

Resemblance

People said i resembles of my mother.My future mother in-law said i perfectly look alike my mum in terms of facial features.When i was in my mid 20's,others thought we're sisters bcoz' of our look.We have long black curly hair,round face,small nose.Only i'm slightly higher & plummer.Nevertheless,look younger.

I'm proud of that similarity bcoz' i'm my mum's pet since i'm the one & only her daughter.So the likeness make us closer to each other.But i realized i'm not just resembles her in look but also other aspects.

Both of us work hard,independence,patient & brave to face all odds.We'll voice out our thoughts.We won't let others intimidate us.

I'm proud to say our family depends too much on my mother.After my father was advised by doctors to rest & stop doing hard & tough work,my mum take place the responsibility to support the family.Every morning she woke up early,prepared the breakfast & lunch for us,washed clothes & cleaned up the house b4 going to work.She rode a bicycle to the main road (1 km) b4 took the bus.6pm she reached home & cooked dinner.Every day for more than 10 years she underwent the same routine.But for the last 5 years she changed job & managed to work at a SME industries near the village.She had more time to rest as she finished her job at noon.

My father only did light & easy work bcoz' of his condition.Sometimes i felt pity for my mum as she had to work very hard to support the family.She had to do 2 works at the same time;housewife & factory worker.I know,she was really tired but she had no choice.Me & my brothers were still studying at that time.My mum didn't allow us to work at that time bcoz' she wanted us to finish our study first.Luckily all 5 of us managed to finished school & entered university, poly & colleges.All bcoz' of my mum's sacrifice & determination.

I never blamed my father bcoz' he was too fragile to do hard work but sometimes i felt that it's not fair,why my mum as a woman,a weak human being,had to do all things?Sometimes i was mad at my father.He was a traditional type of man;men are supposed to get out to work & bring home 'food & money' whereas women are supposed to take care the children & do all the housework.But once he can't work anymore,he still applied the same belief.My mum still has to do the housework even though she also worked outside.Why can't he helped by doing the house core or other works at the house.But he didn't.Even when the pipe,roof or wall leaked,my mum had to repair it.Asking my father like asking a deaf person.

I swear that i won't find the same kind of man (but i never hate my father).I can feel my mum's difficulties but she never moan or sigh in front of us.But then,when i met my fiance,i found that he resembles my father.My brother said he saw my father's younger version inside of him;in terms of appearance & look.But when i look at him now,he reminds me of my father.Knowing him taught me meaning of sacrifice & hard work.I had to face almost the same thing my mum's past.From the first day i met him until to-date,i had to work very hard to assure we can eat,pay the house rental & b4 this i have money for the bus fare.It was really hard.I always cried alone when i can't take it anymore.

Sometimes i wonder is this what my mum felt b4?Sometimes i wonder how come i met & attracted to the man like my father?Is it a coincidence?Or is it a fate?But i used to read somewhere,we used to attracted & fall in love with the man/woman who had same character with our mum/father.Even though it's hard to accept my father's behaviour,still i met the man like him.But why?I don't like his character yet i still can't leave him.May be it's true,we tend to attract to the person who have same character/features like our parents.The man/woman we choose resembles our parents.May be bcoz' we are used to the traits so without realizing it,we fell in love instantly to the same 'kind' of man/woman.
So,as a conclusion,i resembles my mum & he (my fiance) resembles my father.I'm the old version of my mum & my fiance is the old version of my father.We are like the same person from the different generation.Funny isn't it?

ABC Tag

A. Attached or Single? Attached to a very handsome,caring & loving man;MZZD
B. Best Friend? Zaleha Abdul Manaf (I miss her a lot)
C. Cake or Pie? Cake especially from secret recipe;erm,yum,yum
D. Day of Choice? Saturday!It's weekend,time to relax
E. Essential Items? HANDPHONE
F. Favorite Color? Blue
G. Gummy Bears or Worms? Gummy Bears
H. Hometown? Kuala Terengganu,Malaysia
I. Indulgence? Romantic holiday (honeymoon?) just me & my husband at Karambunai Resort
J. January or July? July coz' it's my, my fiance & my mum's birthday
K. Kids? None but hoping to have some when i'm married
L. Life isn't complete without? Family,fiance & 'beautiful' friends
M. Marriage Date? Not confirm yet but soon, maybe on October this year,we'll see
N. Number of Brothers & Sisters? No sisters as i'm the only daughter in my family,4 brothers,1 step brother,1 sister in law & 1 step sister in law
O. Oranges or Apples? Oranges of course.....a little bit sour & juicy, lots of vitamin c
P. Phobia or Fears? SNAKES....it gives me a tickle.Oh,i hate snakes
Q. Quote? In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary
R. Reason to Smile? It makes my day, makes me happy & people around me happier
S. Season of Choice? Definitely autumn
T. Tag 5 people? Well,no one yet
U. Unknown Fact about Me? I used to wear dentures
V. Vegetable? Kailan
W. Worst Habit? Shaking my leg or snores or grinding my teeth while sleeping (unconsciously)http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_causes_teeth_grinding_while_sleeping
X. X-ray or Ultrasound? Depends.....
Y. Your Favorite Food? Chicken Rice
Z. Zodiac Sign? LEO

Dilemma : The Truth

Should i tell the truth?What if the truth will mess up my life,my career & my relationship?
I'm in dilemma.I don't know whether i should tell my bosses & my colleagues about my fiance.Even though everybody knows i'm engaged but they didn't know who's my fiance.
This dilemma arrises when my lady boss offers my fiance a job as a supervisor at our new site project.B4 this,i told her my fiance is looking for a job here in kl or selangor since we're getting married soon.But i never thought that she'll offered him the job.
May be others think,what's the problem now?The problem is they knew my fiance very well,even my big boss has known him earlier than me but they don't know he was my fiance.So?That's easier.No,actually it's complicated.My boss has a small problem with my fiance but that doesn't mean they're enemy.Bcoz' of others mistake,my fiance had to take the burden.My boss hasn't mention his name for quite some time but my lady boss (my boss's wife) often mentions his name & was looking for him.
B4 this my fiance has applied for any job with this company but my boss refused bcoz' he didn't want to loose a friend.He said,when a friend work for him,they can't be friend anymore.It turns into a boss-worker relationship.But now abang was so desperate to have a job since the 'date' is nearer.

I never lied about my fiance.I just didn't tell the truth.No.Actually no one ever asked me who's my fiance.Actually my lady boss has met him & talk to him a few times after our engagement but the funny thing is she just couldn't recognize him.Maybe bcoz' she hasn't seen him for a long time & b4 that they met only several times or seen him in a glimpse.That is funny bcoz' numerous of time she told me to find him but she has met him & sveral times teases each other but she didn't recognize him.
I swear,i'm going to tell them about him but not now.I have to wait for appropriate time.The time will come but not now.I'm planning to tell them when we're getting married.Ya,when that time comes,i can't hide it anymore bcoz' they will know themselves whether after meeting him at the feast or by the time i hand on my invitation card.
I know i shouldn't hide his identity but i'm afraid to tell them.All this time i'm safe bcoz' no one asked me about him but i never thought i have to tell them now.Why should i hide it?Bcoz' i'm afraid.What will my boss think of me.My fiance has created a uncomfortable situation between them.I don't want to interfere their affair but i know,my bosses especially my lady boss can't believe him 100% anymore.So,can they accept him?Can they accept of what had i done?Can they accept my action of hiding this from them?I'm afraid they will think me as a liar.I'm afraid they won't believe in me anymore.I'm afraid i'll feel awkward facing them after this.
I know they're going to be shocked.My boss agreed to meet him this coming monday.I can't imagine what will happen & how will my boss faces the situation.& the most important thing is will he accept him?& if my boss can forgive him,can my lady boss accept him?They have help us especially me a lot & i don't want them to have a second thought of me.I've struggle very hard after all this time to win their heart (in a right way) & to obtain their belief on me.I'm afraid the truth will ruin every thing i had b4.
I know they will shocked knowing him as my fiance.They knew we've been a friend for a long time.Even he's the one who introduced me to my boss.He brought me to this company.But my boss wouldn't thought that i'm his gf & now his fiance bcoz' my boss once told me,he has been told by my fiance that his gf worked for proton in shah alam.
Erm,i know sooner or later the truth will be revealed.& the secret won't be a secret anymore next week.I just pray that my bosses can accept the truth very well.I've told my fiance to backup me.I don't want to be blamed.By hook or by crook,i,i mean we have to get ready to face our 'lies'.Get ready to see their shocking & unbelieving faces.I hope it went well.

Perfect

Sempurna (OST LOVE) - Gita Gutawa -

Kau begitu sempurna
Dimataku kau begitu indah
kau membuat diriku
akan slalu memujamu

Disetiap langkahku

Kukan slalu memikirkan dirimu
Tak bisa kubayangkan hidupku tanpa cintamu

*Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
Takkan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

Reff:
Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku
Lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku, kau begitu
Sempurna.. Sempurna..

Kau genggam tanganku
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku

I fall in love instantly with this song,a theme song from a film directed by Khabir Bhatia entitle "LOVE" adaptation from a film,CINTA.I've seen CINTA not long ago.I like that film bcoz' it shows different aspects of love.Love between husband & wife,sister-brother,friend-friend,2 lovers,2 unknown people..

Even though no body's perfect in this world but we can find one.First we have to find perfection in ourself to find perfection in others.Perfection that can only be seen from inside,something that can't be seen with our eyes.

Perfect
Why is it that they say nothing can be perfect

Is it because they themselves are not perfect

Or maybe their lives are not perfect

If nothing is perfect then does perfect exist.

YES!

For those who look at the glass half full

Everyday is perfect as long as they are alive

As long as they are with the ones they love

Everything is perfect.

For those who view the glass half empty

Never will anything be perfect

Their lives, their love ones, their jobs

Will always lack perfection.

My life is perfect

Loving family, loving fiance, and beautiful kids

I couldn't ask for nothing better

When I am with them my life is perfect.

-James Elston -