Now i know why my now husband forbid me to get close to one of my friend.B4 this i kept on protest when he forbidded me to see her.Sometimes he said bad things about her.I kept on saying to myself,he has no right to commenting about my friend.He had no idea who is she.He didn't know her that well.But now i know.I'm not saying that she is bad & i'm nice.She has her own way to stay nice.
Last weekend she asked me to 'lepak' at her house bcoz' since i got married,we haven't meet each other.I've to say no bcoz' my husband is coming home that week.I said to her,i have to ask for his permission b4 i go to anywhere.She just couldn't accept that fact.She said that i'm too loyal.She asked me not to be that stupid.I told her,now i'm a wife.It's compulsory for a wife to ask permission from her husband & it's not only a fact,it's written in the quran.It's a sin to go out without a husband's permission.But she couldn't accept my reason.She said in this modern world,there's no such thing of doing that.I said to her,the law or 'hukum' is for all old & modern people.There's no such law for old & modern people bcoz' paradise & hell didn't know it.& we've to accept that it's god's law & we've no right to question it.If we can't accept it,it means that we've disobey god's law.Still she can't accept it when she said it's not fair for a wife to seek permission from her husband whereas a husband can go anywhere he likes without his wife's permission.Oh,it's hopeless to say anything to her.She just couldn't accept it.
Then she said to me (i sense that she teased me), be a loyal wife so that i can enter the paradise.I was so hurt by her word.Entering the paradise is not our decision.It's god's decision.But quran said,the easiest way to enter paradise for a wife is to obey all her husband's command & stay loyal.
She said nowadays modern women can do anything she wants to.Yes it's true but she has to understand,how modern or high ur status are,u've to obey to ur husband.Asking for permission doesn't mean that u've to ask everytime u want to do anything.It's funny when she thought that we had to ask permission everytime we want to go to work.It's not like that.Oh,it's hard to explain something to someone that just couldn't want to listen.
She was mad at me when i didn't want to tell her about my first night experience.She asked me how my first night was.I just can tell her that i'm really happy with it but couldn't explain it further bcoz' it's the secret between a husband & a wife.If she wanted to know it further,she had to experience it herself.She said it's ok to tell bcoz' it's only between us & there's no guys here.She said she'll keep it as a secret.Sorry,no no no.Most people always said that;they'll tell no one,but in the end the story will spread.She was not happy with my answer.She said i'm too stingy.Say whatever u want but my decision is final.It was a secret & i've to keep it to myself ONLY.
She said i'm too old-fashioned.I know.Many people said it to me.May be bcoz' i wore 'baju kurung' all the time when i go to work.I wore tudung even though i'm not working at that time.I stayed at home most of the time.I didn't go clubbing.I didn't go karaoke-ing.I just don't care.Yes,i wore 'baju kurung' bcoz' i'm comfortable with it but i just wore it when i'm working.When i'm not working,i wear jeans & t-shirt like others do.I even wear short & sleaveless while i'm at home.Every year,during raya aidilfitri & aidiladha,i made a lot of 'baju kurung'.I've no problem with it bcoz' my mom made them herself.So i've no problem sending them to the tailor.They've to pay for it while my mom made it for free for me.After raya,i wore them too work.I guess it's more appropriate to wore it as i'm working in the office.I'm comfortable with it & i don't have to spend for other dress.
I'm not that religious but i know what's right & what's wrong.Wearing tudung is compulsory to all female muslim.But i've to admit it,i wear it everytime i went out but when i'm at home,i'm not wearing it even though there is non-muhrim man (man that we can get married) around.I know she didn't wore baju kurung to work.She wore it only for hari raya & sometimes on friday.Now she doesn't wear tudung anymore.She said,wearing tudung is old-fashioned.It's hard to do everything if u wore tudung if u live in kl.But she not even lived in kl.She stayed in hulu langat.It was far from kl.But i do lived in kl.But i've no problem with wearing tudung.I can go anywhere i like except for disco & bar.She likes to go clubbing.She like to go karaoke-ing.So,it's not appropriate to wear tudung when u go there.
She used to push me to go to disco.She always wanted to go there but she didn't anyone to take her there.Yes,it's true i've been there once.But only for 1/2 hours.It was 6 years ago & i went there with my housemates.I went there not to enjoy myself but just to see what's the disco like & i want to 'jaga hati' my housemate as she always asked me to go there but i'm always say no.I just stay there,looking at the people dancing like crazy people.I can't stay long as my head's spinning bcoz' of the loud music, the lighting, the smokes, the crowd & the smell of alcohol.But swear to god,i didn't touch any drink they served even the coke.For me,that's the first & the last time i'm going to the disco.It's not for me.At least i know.
That's bcoz' i love quiet surroundings.I love to stay at home.& after getting married,i'm comfortable to be at home especially when my husband is at home.I realized that i'm old enough.So it's time to build my own family.No more clubbing or what-so-ever.But she can't accept it.She wanted to 'bercinta' as long as she can.Then she wanted to engage as long as she can.It's bcoz' she wanted to feel the love; dunia percintaan & dunia pertunangan.She didn't want to get married that soon bcoz' she didn't want to tied up with husband & kids.She wanted to enjoy her life as much as she could.She said marriage will only tie both our hands & legs.She used me as an example.But she was wrong.I feel loved.I don't feel that marriage has blocked my life.Marriage gives me a certainty.Marriage gives me a satisfaction.Marriage gives me such a freedom.I didn't have to worry anymore of being catch up by JAIS or JAWI while we go dating.We can do anything we like.We can kiss, hug & holding hand even in the crowd with no worries.So,what else do i want with it?
May be she wanted to be like me.My husband & i have been a couple since the end of 2001.So it was a very long period.Our relationship has on & off twice.But still we got married in the end.But she doesn't know that after all this while,we've been in a lot of challenges.There're a lot tears & laugh in our love story.I've been hurt but thanx to god i'm strong enough to face them.She has to realize that god gives different challenges to different people.God only gave a challenge that can be bear by a person bcoz' god is merciful.
I'm may be an old-fashioned but i've an open mind.I can accept anything & i don't judge others that easily bcoz' we don't know who they really are.I'm educated.I read newspapers & magazines, but not entertainment magazines like urtv,mangga etc.I watched tv.I'm not put her down but for me she's more old-fashioned than me.She is in culture shocked.She came from a rural area;felda.She left her place to further her study at ipoh for 2 years but she only got an unrecognize certificate.Then she went back to jb to work as a clerk.Then she came to kl to work here.She was very proud to work in kl.Her parents were proud when her villagers talked about it.She may be worked in kl but still she stayed at a rural area,outside kl.But she kept on telling others that she stayed in kl.Now she's not working in kl anymore but still she admitted it.Erm...
For her,working in kl is a proud thing to do.What a thought.For me,kl is nothing bcoz' i've been here b4 i worked here.I've a lot of relatives here in kl.My cousins, my brothers were here.Even though i'm not studying in kl but i've been exposed to kl environment since i was in secondary school.I went to a boarding school,so there were many kl students there.There once i entered university, i befriend with a lot of kl people.So,kl is nothing to me.That's why now i moved to live outside kl bcoz' i'm tired of kl surroundings.I want for a more peaceful environment.
For her two timing is ok as long as we haven't make up our mind.It's not a sin to have more than one bf at the same time bcoz' nowadays men have more than one gf at the same time.Men can do it,so why can't women do it?She has to accept the fact that men can marry more than one woman at the same time but women can't.
If she can't accept these fact,what else can i say to her.It's her life & it's her choice.She can say whatever she wants to but she has to accept mine too.Law is law.It is used for the whole era.If u don't agree with it,u've to answer the god.& please don't judge other people with what they wear.
Last weekend she asked me to 'lepak' at her house bcoz' since i got married,we haven't meet each other.I've to say no bcoz' my husband is coming home that week.I said to her,i have to ask for his permission b4 i go to anywhere.She just couldn't accept that fact.She said that i'm too loyal.She asked me not to be that stupid.I told her,now i'm a wife.It's compulsory for a wife to ask permission from her husband & it's not only a fact,it's written in the quran.It's a sin to go out without a husband's permission.But she couldn't accept my reason.She said in this modern world,there's no such thing of doing that.I said to her,the law or 'hukum' is for all old & modern people.There's no such law for old & modern people bcoz' paradise & hell didn't know it.& we've to accept that it's god's law & we've no right to question it.If we can't accept it,it means that we've disobey god's law.Still she can't accept it when she said it's not fair for a wife to seek permission from her husband whereas a husband can go anywhere he likes without his wife's permission.Oh,it's hopeless to say anything to her.She just couldn't accept it.
Then she said to me (i sense that she teased me), be a loyal wife so that i can enter the paradise.I was so hurt by her word.Entering the paradise is not our decision.It's god's decision.But quran said,the easiest way to enter paradise for a wife is to obey all her husband's command & stay loyal.
She said nowadays modern women can do anything she wants to.Yes it's true but she has to understand,how modern or high ur status are,u've to obey to ur husband.Asking for permission doesn't mean that u've to ask everytime u want to do anything.It's funny when she thought that we had to ask permission everytime we want to go to work.It's not like that.Oh,it's hard to explain something to someone that just couldn't want to listen.
She was mad at me when i didn't want to tell her about my first night experience.She asked me how my first night was.I just can tell her that i'm really happy with it but couldn't explain it further bcoz' it's the secret between a husband & a wife.If she wanted to know it further,she had to experience it herself.She said it's ok to tell bcoz' it's only between us & there's no guys here.She said she'll keep it as a secret.Sorry,no no no.Most people always said that;they'll tell no one,but in the end the story will spread.She was not happy with my answer.She said i'm too stingy.Say whatever u want but my decision is final.It was a secret & i've to keep it to myself ONLY.
She said i'm too old-fashioned.I know.Many people said it to me.May be bcoz' i wore 'baju kurung' all the time when i go to work.I wore tudung even though i'm not working at that time.I stayed at home most of the time.I didn't go clubbing.I didn't go karaoke-ing.I just don't care.Yes,i wore 'baju kurung' bcoz' i'm comfortable with it but i just wore it when i'm working.When i'm not working,i wear jeans & t-shirt like others do.I even wear short & sleaveless while i'm at home.Every year,during raya aidilfitri & aidiladha,i made a lot of 'baju kurung'.I've no problem with it bcoz' my mom made them herself.So i've no problem sending them to the tailor.They've to pay for it while my mom made it for free for me.After raya,i wore them too work.I guess it's more appropriate to wore it as i'm working in the office.I'm comfortable with it & i don't have to spend for other dress.
I'm not that religious but i know what's right & what's wrong.Wearing tudung is compulsory to all female muslim.But i've to admit it,i wear it everytime i went out but when i'm at home,i'm not wearing it even though there is non-muhrim man (man that we can get married) around.I know she didn't wore baju kurung to work.She wore it only for hari raya & sometimes on friday.Now she doesn't wear tudung anymore.She said,wearing tudung is old-fashioned.It's hard to do everything if u wore tudung if u live in kl.But she not even lived in kl.She stayed in hulu langat.It was far from kl.But i do lived in kl.But i've no problem with wearing tudung.I can go anywhere i like except for disco & bar.She likes to go clubbing.She like to go karaoke-ing.So,it's not appropriate to wear tudung when u go there.
She used to push me to go to disco.She always wanted to go there but she didn't anyone to take her there.Yes,it's true i've been there once.But only for 1/2 hours.It was 6 years ago & i went there with my housemates.I went there not to enjoy myself but just to see what's the disco like & i want to 'jaga hati' my housemate as she always asked me to go there but i'm always say no.I just stay there,looking at the people dancing like crazy people.I can't stay long as my head's spinning bcoz' of the loud music, the lighting, the smokes, the crowd & the smell of alcohol.But swear to god,i didn't touch any drink they served even the coke.For me,that's the first & the last time i'm going to the disco.It's not for me.At least i know.
That's bcoz' i love quiet surroundings.I love to stay at home.& after getting married,i'm comfortable to be at home especially when my husband is at home.I realized that i'm old enough.So it's time to build my own family.No more clubbing or what-so-ever.But she can't accept it.She wanted to 'bercinta' as long as she can.Then she wanted to engage as long as she can.It's bcoz' she wanted to feel the love; dunia percintaan & dunia pertunangan.She didn't want to get married that soon bcoz' she didn't want to tied up with husband & kids.She wanted to enjoy her life as much as she could.She said marriage will only tie both our hands & legs.She used me as an example.But she was wrong.I feel loved.I don't feel that marriage has blocked my life.Marriage gives me a certainty.Marriage gives me a satisfaction.Marriage gives me such a freedom.I didn't have to worry anymore of being catch up by JAIS or JAWI while we go dating.We can do anything we like.We can kiss, hug & holding hand even in the crowd with no worries.So,what else do i want with it?
May be she wanted to be like me.My husband & i have been a couple since the end of 2001.So it was a very long period.Our relationship has on & off twice.But still we got married in the end.But she doesn't know that after all this while,we've been in a lot of challenges.There're a lot tears & laugh in our love story.I've been hurt but thanx to god i'm strong enough to face them.She has to realize that god gives different challenges to different people.God only gave a challenge that can be bear by a person bcoz' god is merciful.
I'm may be an old-fashioned but i've an open mind.I can accept anything & i don't judge others that easily bcoz' we don't know who they really are.I'm educated.I read newspapers & magazines, but not entertainment magazines like urtv,mangga etc.I watched tv.I'm not put her down but for me she's more old-fashioned than me.She is in culture shocked.She came from a rural area;felda.She left her place to further her study at ipoh for 2 years but she only got an unrecognize certificate.Then she went back to jb to work as a clerk.Then she came to kl to work here.She was very proud to work in kl.Her parents were proud when her villagers talked about it.She may be worked in kl but still she stayed at a rural area,outside kl.But she kept on telling others that she stayed in kl.Now she's not working in kl anymore but still she admitted it.Erm...
For her,working in kl is a proud thing to do.What a thought.For me,kl is nothing bcoz' i've been here b4 i worked here.I've a lot of relatives here in kl.My cousins, my brothers were here.Even though i'm not studying in kl but i've been exposed to kl environment since i was in secondary school.I went to a boarding school,so there were many kl students there.There once i entered university, i befriend with a lot of kl people.So,kl is nothing to me.That's why now i moved to live outside kl bcoz' i'm tired of kl surroundings.I want for a more peaceful environment.
For her two timing is ok as long as we haven't make up our mind.It's not a sin to have more than one bf at the same time bcoz' nowadays men have more than one gf at the same time.Men can do it,so why can't women do it?She has to accept the fact that men can marry more than one woman at the same time but women can't.
If she can't accept these fact,what else can i say to her.It's her life & it's her choice.She can say whatever she wants to but she has to accept mine too.Law is law.It is used for the whole era.If u don't agree with it,u've to answer the god.& please don't judge other people with what they wear.
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