Everyone was talking about post-weddding blues;feeling people had after wedding ceremony.But sometimes,we tend to forget about pre-wedding blues/nerves we had b4 the BIG day.The pre-wedding stress is all that comes before the wedding date. When you think about it, a wedding is 20 to 30 years of hopes and dreams all in a six-hour time frame. The wedding day represents unlimited possibilities and new beginnings; there's so much stress because the evening has got to be right.
THREE TO SIX MONTHS before the wedding can be a strange and emotionally challenging time for many brides. The planning is basically done, but it's not time yet to address invitations or make seating arrangements.
Butterflies in the stomach is quite an adequate description. So is dryness in the mouth, weak knees, thudding heart and many other such symptoms of emotional upheaval and stress. Its natural to feel all this and more as you are headed for the 'majlis akad nikah' where you are going to be joined to your partner in holy matrimony. After all, this is one of the most important events in your life. The attention of every person present is on you (well, almost – except for the little nephews and nieces running madly around the wedding area!) and it is natural to feel a combination of nervousness, shyness, and many other emotions at leaving behind one life and stepping into another.
In this empty space, difficult feelings of anger, sadness, and fear often come up. And unfortunately, since there's nothing that urgently needs doing, you can't really distract yourself. You have to just feel the feelings.
Many brides are bewildered by these big feelings. They believe that their engagement is supposed to be one of the happiest times of their lives. Yes, happiness is a major part of being engaged -- you've found your life partner, and you're getting married! But so are fear, anger, and sadness.
Why do people go through all this when they have decided to be married of their own free will? When their wedding is actually a culmination of a friendship or courtship or engagement? The truth is that pre-marriage nerves are felt by nearly everybody – brides and grooms going through ‘arranged’ marriages, or ‘love’ unions, even people getting married for the second time. It seems as if the hours before a wedding are just made for anxious thoughts, when self-doubt and uncertainty come pouring in through some secret window in our minds.
These difficult feelings are normal and necessary as you make this transition from single to married, from fiancée to wife. Experiencing and understanding these difficult feelings prepares you for this change.
Emotions manifest differently for every bride. Some brides fight with their fiancé, friends, and parents. Others withdraw into themselves, confused and depressed. Many obsess about details so much that they are panicky and irritable. All of these reactions are normal during a major life transition such as getting married. But it's a lot for one person to handle!
It is never possible to completely do away with pre-wedding nerves. Some things that can help, however, are:
• Getting enough sleep. When you are going to spend a good part of the night lying awake thinking, it is a good idea to get to bed a little earlier, disregarding the taunts and challenges of sundry friends and relatives.
• Being confident about your clothes, footwear, appearance. Don’t shy away from a ‘dress rehearsal’ if this is going to give you the perfect fit for the day of the wedding. Not being worried about visible clothes tags, ties that have been tied askew, and ghagras that are held together with a safety pin is very important for peace of mind in the wedding mandap.
• Isolating yourself from relatives, friends and acquaintances giving off negative vibes, news and comments about the wedding arrangements, your new family, what someone said etc. Don’t let people dump their nasty views on you before such a momentous milestone in your life.
• Spending a few quiet moments in prayer, meditation or solitude – in which you express thanks for having such a partner, the wedding, and also resolve to make it a happy union for the rest of your life. Being alone and sorting out your thoughts in a positive framework is sometimes all you need to go out there and SMILE!
This article was so helpful bcoz' right now i'm the one who's into this pre-wedding blues.I've all this nerves starting last month.It's not i'm confused with my feeling of getting married,but i was worried about the wedding preparation,the ceremony,the budget.Wah,it gives me a lot of headaches.I've prepared most of the things right away after the engagement,still i can't figure out what ,which & how to do.I've list all the things that i should do b4 that big day.I've started making the door gifts & wedding invitation card.But we haven't bought the 'barang hantaran' yet & our wedding dresses haven't made yet.Oh my gosh,i am so worried.
All these preparation,plus my hectic work schedule make me want to faint.
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