Friday, February 29, 2008
Which/Who Is Your Choice?
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Changes
The above poem says a lot about what I'm thinking today.Everything changes;a bit @ a lot;fast & slow;from bad to good,from good to better,from better to best or from bad to worse,from worse to worst.Vice versa.Things(people) change whether we realize or not.Changes give us a new perspective in our life.We need to change for a better future.Nobody can force us to change becoz' forcing someone @ something to change can make them feel involuntarily @ reluctant.
For me,i don't like to be forced to do something.I like to do at my own pace.When people force me to change,I'll do it for a short time @ i just act in front of them but whenever there's no people around,I'll turn to the old me.
Actually i was very mad yesterday 'till today.I thought he has changed especially after the incident.I was the happiest person on earth when he said a lot of good things after the releasement.He said he want to change becoz' he has thought a lot during his imprisonment.He didn't want to live like b4.He wanted to get a better job so that he can marry me as soon as possible.He wanted to make me happy.He didn't want to trouble his family & people around him anymore.We have planned many things especially our future.We didn't want to like this anymore;kais pg mkn ptg.We want to settle all our debts.
He promised to a better man.
But the promises just gone like a wind.For the first month he really change in terms of behaviour.He thinks positive in anything.He wants to forget the past.But once he came back to KL,he change back into the his old behaviour.He planned a lot but he didn't do anything to take his plans into reality.He wants to work but still didn't know what kind of job he want,he has no initiative to find job.He always told me to go find the job but then there're always excuses.He wants to save money but he still didn't want to work.He knew that my salary was small & only can afford both of us for food & drinks,house rental & transport to work.But then he always spend the many unwisely.I didn't know where have the money gone.In the middle of the month,my salary turns zero.
LOVE,LOVE,LOVE...
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Why We All Want To Fall In Love?
but that doesn't diminish its value,
Sweet Sacrifice
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
How Does It Feel To Love & To Be Loved???
Is not puffed up, It does not behave badly.
Love does not rejoice in iniquity, But rejoices in the truth.
Love never Fails."
When someone is willing to do without
When someone is this special,
Thank you for everything
by John Wright
2. Do not be afraid to give and show your love, understand and respect each other's feelings and emotions. Remember our hearts are fragile and feel everything.
3. Don't end it if they don't say it back. Nothing says both parties fall in love at the same time, continue to love them and when it's right for them, they'll say it back.
4. Do not change yourself just to please the one you love, it will only make you feel used. And if the one you love cannot love you for who you are, maybe he wasn't the one meant for you.
- You can be loved even if you are not perfect
- You can be loved while keeping your course in life
- You can be loved without getting lost in love
They say that destiny you can not change
But please have hope–I know it's hard
Just keep your hope and open heart
Monday, February 25, 2008
A Very Bad Monday
Tiba2 aku dngar suara dia kejutkn aku.Rupanya dh 7.30pm.Terus bangkit,masak nasi utk dinner.Smbil tu gi cuci koridor,toilet,bilik air & basuh baju.Abis mandi,dia terus ajak aku dinner.Abis dinner,lepak2,kemaskan pakaian yg dh kering,baca paper semlm.Dia as usual cuba lelapkn mata tp tlena skejap jer.Boring betul sbb takde perkara lain yg bleh dibuat.Tv baru jer rosak.Semenya gara2 dia.Ari tu remote control rosak.Bila dh repair,kuar plak ntah apa2 kt skrin tv.Aku dh ckp biar je la kt situ sbb x mganggu sgt pandangn puntp dia degil.Tekan itu,tekan ini.Last2 tv tu terus mati,x kluar gambar & suara.Nsib baik dia yg rosakkan,klau aku yg buat,maunya kna bebel 6 guni.Jawabnya tunggu ada duit bru bleh repair tv tu.Bila?Ntah la...
Since xde duit,radio buruk yg jd peneman.Tp tu la,radio dh condemn.Channel ttentu jer yg dpt.Tu pn skejap ok,skejap x ok.Tp ok la drpd sunyi sepi.
Dia minta aku dodoikn dia spy dia bleh lelap.Dia x bg aku tidur dulu dgn alasn dia x bleh nk tidur klau aku tidur dulu.Masalahnya amik masa lama nk dodoikn dia.Masalahnya dh pkul 3am.Esok aku nk kna bangun awal sbb aku keje.Dia xpe la,duduk rumah jer.Klau aku x cukup tidur,cmner aku nk buat keje?Dia ni tak faham2.Bila aku salah ckp ckit,dia dh naik angin.Dia suruh aku tidur dulu,tak payah dodoikn dia.Siap hempas2 pintu lg.Aku nk tidur pn tak lena.Bengangnya!
7.30am bru aku bangun.Pkul 6am aku dh jaga tp aku tak larat nk bangun.Lepas gosok baju,aku masak behoon soup utk dia.Dia yg pesan mlm td.Sdg aku masak,tiba2 dia dtg ke dapur,marah2 kt aku,larang aku buat soup tu.Tak faham aku.Semlm suruh buat,hari ni marah plak.Aku pegi keje dlm keadaan perut kosong.Takde mood aku nk breakfast.Dia suruh pakai cincin tunang tp aku buat tak tahu jer.Aku malas.Takde mood.
Sampai opis dh pkul 10.00am.Jenny call,katanya en md noh call mr yap,complain pasal aku dtg lmbt lg.Dia & anaknya dh tunggu lama kt bawah sbb tak bleh msuk opis.Asyik2 nk complain.Bosan aku!Aku ni dh la tgh bengang,smpai opis kna complain plak.Cepat2 la dpt keje baru,aku dh bosan keje kt sini.Dulu xde org nk complain,skrg ada tukang complain x bertauliah plak.Hari ni btul2 aku bad mood.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Friends For Life
Saturday, February 23, 2008
I'm Sleepy
Myspace Smiley Moods Graphics
Huarghhhh.....ngantuknya. Ni seme gara2 cik abang. Dia yg x bleh tidur, aku yg kna bjaga sama. Actually sejak incident kehilangn dompetnya & incident dia tserempak dgn kwn lama dia, dia dh kna penyakit insomnia. Dh byk mlm dia x bleh tidur. Klau lelap pn, sekejap2, asyik tjaga.
Mlm td after dinner, dia ajak aku lepak. Klau diikutkn aku sgt mengantuk + penat tp bla tengok keadaan dia, kesian plak aku. Nak x nak kna la temankn dia. 10.30pm kitaorg jln kaki gi chow kit. Pusing2 kt area balai bomba chow kit, cuci mata. Meriah gak chow kit ni ye pd wktu mlm. Ramai org lepak & byk gerai samada gerai mkn maupun gerai jual brg2 spt handbag (tiruan), pakaian & mcm2 lg. Then kitaorg lepak kt restoran mamak, pekena roti canai + kopi 'o' panas sambil tengok tv. 11.30pm kami beransur2 pulang. Smpat lg beli jagung rebus, mkn smbil jln. Abang aku ni mmg kaki mkn.
Smpai umah dh nearly 12.00am. Aku dh ngantuk giler tp dia ajak aku sembang2 lg. Nearly 2.00am bru aku tidur. Dh x sedar apa2 dh. Sedar2 pkul 6.30am dia kejutkn aku, ajak gi pasar kt bawah. Konon2nya nk tunjuk kt aku keadaan pasar tu. Erm, ni seme silap aku sbb aku prnh minta dia ajak aku skali klau nk gi pasar tu sbb aku x prnh gi wp dekat. Senang la lps ni klau aku nk beli apa2, x pyh nk gi chow kit @ singgah kt giant. Tp masalahnya aku ngantuk giler ni tp tpaksa bgn gak sbb dia 'merengek' ajak aku. Rupanya dia tidur 3 jam jer td, tu pn asyik tjaga jer. Cuci muka, tukar baju, trus gi pasar. Bukan org tau pn aku x mndi. Pusing2 pasar tp beli udang jer, dia nk buat nasi goreng cina. Aku tukang makan jer.
Ikutkn hati malas nk gi keje ari ni tp since dh jnji dgn wilson semlm, kan gi jugak. Smpai opis dh pkul 10.30am. Erm, lewat lg. Wilson & Dayah dh smpai. Ingatkn x byk keje ari ni, alih2 wilson mnta tolong aku edit blik report projek masjid & klang site. Tgelak aku bla baca description pic yg dia ambil. Bhs tbalik kot, lintang pukang, mcm translation dr BI ke BM. Ejaan x pyh ckp la, mmg hancus. Td jnji dgn cik abang nk blik pkul 1pm sbb nk gi pasar beli lauk tp since report blom siap, pkul 3pm bru blik. Smpai umah pkul 4.30pm.
Aku dh la penat, smpai umah kna bebel gara2 blik lmbt. Sometimes aku rasa he's being unfair to me. Aku bukan saja2 nk blik lmbt. Keje byk nk kna siap on the spot. Takkan aku nk biarkn jer.Monday dpn main-con nk meeting, so ari ni kna e-mail,print out & fax copy report tu pd main-con.Smpai umah tkocoh2 disambut dgn muka yg masam + sindirn. Sape x hangin satu bdn?Perut dh la lapar. Dia langsung x nk faham keadaan aku. Aku gi keje, bukan bpoya2 @ mkn angin. S'times aku rasa he's very selfish. Aku dh smpai opis pkul 10.30, takkan 1pm sharp aku nk trus blik sdgkn keje blom siap? Tolong la faham!
Aku tau la dia very grumpy lately sbb x cukup tidur but please consider about me too.Since xde apa nk masak, aku pn buat taik mata. Alih2 dia kejutkn aku sbb lapar. Erm, since aku malas nk bgaduh, aku trus gi pasar, beli lauk. Blik umah, masak ala kadar. Ingtkn x nk mkn masakn aku, tp nasi + lauk tu abis dibedalnya.Erm, tak faham aku......
"It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance"
Friday, February 22, 2008
WHY DO PEOPLE SO MEAN????
Myspace Insult Graphics
Ari ni bgn awal, sempat goreng behoon utk breakfast. Bas punya pasal, pkul 10am bru smpai opis. Hidayah dh smpai dulu, duk menunggu kt tangga. Biarkan dia duk menunggu. Biar dia rasa.
Actually aku bengang tp ntah kt dia @ bapak dia. Bapak dia bleh ckp aku slalu lmbat hinggakn anak dia ni tpaksa duk menunggu kt tangga. Tp slama dia keje kt sini, ari ni bru aku tengok dia duk menunggu kt tangga tu. Bapak dia bleh salahkn aku sbb dtg lmbt, anak dia kna lepak kt tangga. Tp kebenaran terserlah jua. Semlm jenny ckp, dia dh bleh 'tangkap' pbuatn anak gadis en md noh ni. Kelmarin, aku dh inform awal2 kt jenny yg aku msuk lmbt sbb gi opis accountant dulu. So jenny mai opis awal bukakkn pintu. B4 9am dia dh smpai tp sengaja lepak dgn member dia kt coffee shop kt bawah. Bla dia tnya en md noh bla anak dia akan smpai, bleh dia ckp dr pkul 9 lbih anak dia duk menunggu kt tangga. Pbohong btul sdgkn jenny dh smpai b4 9, tp x nmpak sape2 pn. Actually pkul 10.00++ bru anak dia smpai. Lepas tu bukan nk greet @ tegur jenny. 'itu budak manyak sombong la', ckp jenny. Ntahla, maybe kot sbb dia mmg payah nk bukak mulut. Slama dia keje kt sini pn, beberapa patah ayat jer yg kluar dr mulut dia. Yg slalu aku dengar, 'kak ana, blik dulu', tu jer. Ha, tu la, aku citer x bape nk pcaya. Skrg jenny dh dengar sndiri & lihat dgn mata dia sndiri behaviour budak tu. Jgn plak nnti kluar citer aku yg sengaja reka2 citer. One more thing, jenny complain sbb hp budak tu asyik bbunyi x henti2. Bla masa la dia nk buat keje. Actually aku pn heran gak, hp bunyi non stop, dh la keje x siap2, aku pn tganggu gak dgn bunyi tu. Klau nk keje buat la cara nk keje. Org pn bcinta gak tp ada masanya. Klau company lain, agaknya dh kna sound.
Erm, people always like that. Keburukn org jer yg dia nmpak, keburukn diri sndiri & org yg tdekat x prnh kelihatn. Klau ada pn, buat2 x nmpak. Aku pn heran nape la MN ni mcm nk cari kesilpn aku jer. Aku tau la aku ni anak emas mr yap & jenny (perasan abis....hehehe...). So dia x bleh nk 'sentuh' aku. Apa yg aku buat msti ada org yg backup aku especially jenny. Dulu keje dia terminate staff yg dia x suka, bg memo, reminder & mcm2 lg. Dh ramai staff yg kna terminate sbb dia x puas hati sdgkn dia x bleh terminate aku @ remind aku sbb i'm untoucable. Company ni depends on me 100%. Dia pn slalu suruh aku buat keje2 personal dia. Dulu, kalu dia x puas hati kt staff, dia trus kluarkn memo tp aku dia x bleh buat gitu sbb jenny @ mr yap pn x prnah buat cmtu.
Actually aku pn x fhm dgn MN. Seme staff & bekas staff kt sini x suka kt dia. Salah org jer dia nmpak tp dia x prnh salah. Yus, abg nor, abg salleh (sekadar menyebut beberapa nama yg aku msih ingat), seme kna terminate. Last year mizi, resign. Yg latest, aku dpt tau semlm, radzi, pun dh resign. Actually aku dg agak ini akan blaku. Aku prnh bcakap pjg dgn dia dulu. Bukan aku nk buruk2kn company & boss (Mn tu boss ke?) aku sndiri tp staffyg dia recruit msti x bthn lama. Byk janji2 manis sblom dpt keje tp bla dh keje, buat x tau jer. Bla ditnya, nnti kita bincang, jwbnya. Bla kita x tnya, dia buat2 lupa. Keje last minute, lps tu suka lepaskn diri bla ada masalah. Ksian radzi kna marah2. Dh tau budak tu fresh, xde pengalamn, bidang ni plak bukan bidang dia, so nape msti marah2 bla budak tu buat silap. Impossible budak tu nk blajar seme benda dlm masa x smpai 2 bln. Aku yg dh keje lama ni pn tkial2 lg. So, aku x tkejut bla dia bhenti. Aku rasa seme ni gara2 x menepati jnji. Dia prnh ckp kt aku, dia x kesah kn amarah sbb dia mmg x tau. So dia nk blajar, nk cari pengalaman. Tp yg dia bengang (1) xde org nk ajar dia. Mn suruh tnya technician jkr sdgkn technician tu bukan slalu kt site. Nk tnya MN lg la payah. Dh la jarang2 ke site, bila ajar, mcm robot, nk cepat jer. Bg la org tu faham dulu one by one. Ajar plak mcm nk marah2. Cmner nk pandai. (2) Gaji kecik. Dia ingatkn gaji tu excluding hp bills & petrol, rupa2nya dh including skali. Mn cukup dgn gaji rm800. Dh la nk travel jauh, nk call byk org plak tu. Agaknya dh confirm pn x naik gaji. (3) rumah sewa. Dulu dijnjikn rumah sewa, company tanggung. Ye la, org tu duk kajang, site kt klang, mn larat nk ulang alik. Dh la jauh, petrol plak byk. Nk duk menumpang sedara pn segan lama2. Tp smpai last, isu rumah sewa x selesai, xde rumah. Abis tu, who should blame him over this matter?
Ari ni dpt tau budak bru msuk ganti dia. Start sbtu lepas tp dr smlm x nmpak btg hidung. Wilson ckp, mmg x bleh harap. X tau apa2. Computer pn x tau, apath lg bab2 baca plan & yg sewaktu dgnnya. Sape yg recruit? Sape lg, MN la. Budak yg dia recruit slalu x kekal. Entah la.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
♪ SELAMAT HARI RAYA ♪
Msti org garu kpala nape aku nyanyi lagu raya sdgkn skrg bln safar, bkn bln ramadhan. Jwpnnya ialah, ada dh abis ganti pose bln ramadhan. So, skrg baru la aku btul2 raya. Ari tu dh raya tp pose blom cukup. Semlm pn bukak pose sakan dgn cik abang. Kbetuln plak kt umah ada pasar mlm, mcm2 beli la. Kenyang 'neting kata org trganu.
Ari ni smpai opis lmbt, pkul 11.00am sbb gi kompleks wilayah jap, jupe alice, akauntan aku. Discuss pasal company account. Lgpn ari ni due date hntar tax form, so nk x nk kna ngadap dia gak ari ni. Penat weh sbb tkejar2.
Smpai jer opis, mcm2 nk kna buat. Surat yg boss suruh draft smlm blom siap lg. Dh siap print nk kna fax plak. As usual kna kejar supplier, mnta quotation. Diaorg klau x buat follow-up, wat senyap jer. Mcm x nk bniaga jer. Aku plak malas nk tnya byk2 kali. Byk lg keje aku (kononnya).
" Don't go looking for love, let it find you because that's why its called falling; you don't mean to..."
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
LIFE GOES ON......
Erm, melalut plak aku. Ari ni aku bangun as usual. Tp 10.30am bru smpai opis gara2 bas xde. Bengang giler. Ni la ragam bas 405. Suka2 hati dia jer nk dtg pkul bape. Diaoeg ni tak tau ke org nk msuk opis? Klau kita compalin, diaorg marah blik. Suruh naik teksi la klau nk cepat. Last time aku tengok sorang drebar dgn sorang penumpang tu smpai btekak, siap mcarut gara2 tunggu bas hmpir 3 jam. Sape x bengang tp aku diam jer, malas nk complain, nnti x pasal2 kna bambu dek drebar. Buat malu jer. Mulut penat, hati sakit, muka tebal.
Dh lambat, kna sound dek Jenny sbb bos aku Mr Yap ada meeting dgn PNSB ari ni. Bukannya aku sengaja, dh bas lambat. Dh la hati panas, Jenny plak cakap En Md Noh complain psl aku lambat. Erm, sebab tu la dia tarik anak pompuan dia msuk keje kt sini.
Ni pun satu lg masalah. Aku x kesah dia nk recruit sape pun. Tp dia recruit dgn alasan aku slalu lmbt. Ingatkn bila anak dia keje, ada la org yg buka pintu opis selain dr aku, ada la org lain yg bleh dtg lbih awal dr aku. Erm, aku jugak yg kna bukak. Dia dh la keje 3 @ 4 ari je seminggu. Msuk keje pkul 11.00am. Pkul 1.00pm kuar, pkul 3.00pm bru reti nk msuk blik. 5.00pm sharp dh blah. Ntah keje apa dia buat kt depan tu pn aku x tau. Aku malas nk amik tau. Jenny ckp dia tgh taip BQ tp dr minggu lepas, takkan x siap2. Klau aku, kurang2 2 ari dh bleh siap. No comment. So, Jenny suruh aku catat kedatangan dia. Erm, aku pn hangin gak. Prinsip aku senang. Org x kacau aku, aku takkn kacau org. Tp bla org kacau aku, sndiri mau ingat la. Silap2 aku bleh buat citer mcm2 psl org tu. Hehehe, jahat gak aku yer. Actually aku dh malas nk jd org baik sgt. Boss aku pn slalu ingatkn aku, don't be too nice with other people even with someone close to us. Ni seme gara2 aku kerap kna tipu dek org disebabkn kebaikan aku, sifat lembut hati aku & mudah percaya pd org. Susah gak jd org baik ni kan.
Ari ni budak tu x msuk opis. Ari Selasa & Khamis mmg dia x msuk sbb dia ada kelas. Kira2nya keje part time la ni. Actually aku x nmpak sgt pentingnya nk recruit new staff buat masa skrg sbb keje xde. Aku pn bosan giler ni sbb keje dh kurang. Before CNY ari tu mmg l ax cukup kaki & tgn nk handle sbb seme nk kna siap b4 cuti pjg. Smpaikn ari sbtu pn kna keje smpai ke ptg. Ari2 blik lmbat. Cik abang pn dh bising sbb kna tunggu aku lama utk dinner sama2. Tp skrg, keje dh xde. Duk buat filing jer. Boring2. Apa2 pn, aku kna manfaatkn 'kelapangan' ni dgn sepenuhnya sbb bila keje dh byk nnti, aku gak yg pening kepala. Chowwwwwwwww.......
"Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment"
Monday, February 18, 2008
PTD OH PTD
Apa2 pun this week dh bleh relax ckit. Bleh baca paper yg x sempat nk dibaca last week, buat filing yg tertangguh, key-in account dlm computer, baca e-mail, update cheq & payment voucher.Erm, rupanya byk gak keje2 yg tertangguh. Ni seme gara2 exam PTD.
Hari sbtu lepas, 16/02, aku attend exam PTD. Sib baik exam tu held dkat umah aku, Hotel Adamson kt Chow Kit. Jln kaki jer. Org pelik gak, nape exam buat kt hotel, ntah la, aku attend jer. Sblom ni exam PTD & yg sewaktu dgnnya diadakan kt skolah. Bagus gak, nmpak kelas ckit, sekelas dgn jawatan tu. Hehehe...perasan aku.
Exam tu bmula pkul 9.00am. Pkul 6.30am aku dh bangun. Siapkan breakfast, gosok baju. Pkul 7.30am breakfast dgn cik abang. Pkul 8.15am aku dh btolak dr rumah. Awalnyer. Ikutkn aku pkul 8.30am bru nk btolak tp cik abang suruh aku awal. Sejak btunang ni, pergi mana2 mesti dia nk hantar @ temankan. Pagi ni pun dia yg offer diri nk hantar aku. So, bjalanlah kami beriringan ke hotel tu. 8.30am dh smpai. Sembang2 sat, then aku menuju ke dewan Sri Kalsom, venue exam tu. Cik abang terus blik sbb nk sambung tidur blik.
Pegawai JPA tu ckp calon pusat tu 200++ tp today 56 org jer yg attend. Erm, kemana candidate yg lain? Nak kata x bminat tp nape diaorg apply? Erm, aku dulupun camtu. Sbenarnya dh byk kali aku apply jwtn ni tp ni 2nd time aku attend exam. 1st time dulu jer aku attend. Tu pun rasanya thn 2001 dulu. Masa tu aku pass exam dia tp kantoi masa kt Assessment Centre. Thn berikutnya aku x attend exam tu wp aku apply post tu. Sebabnya, entah la, agaknya aku frust kot sbb x lulus kot. Then the next coming year, aku mmg x apply langsung jwtn tu. Last 2 years aku start apply blik tp last time aku x attend gak atas sbb2 yg x dpt dielakkan. This year, aku mmg bsemangat nk attend apatah lg venue dia dkat jer, bleh jln kaki.
Preparation ada la ckit, apatah lg aku cbuk bangat dgn keje. Time dlm bas & lrt jer aku sempat belek2 buku sejarah masa form 5 dulu. The rest, aku surf kt internet.
Bhgian 1, exam psl sahsiah diri, soalan kacang jer tp ni seme tpulang pd diri masing2. Jwb secara jujur. Xde yg btul, xde yg salah. 2nd exam, pengetahuan am. Part ni mcabar ckit. 1st soalan pn dh kantoi. Nama panggilan Pulau Batu Putih oleh s'pore. Slalu gak ikuti pkembangn dlm berita tp x peka sgt. Hem, tembak jer. Yg lain2, aku malas nk komen, tawakkal jer. 3rd exam, ni yg aku btul2 kantoi. Math exam. Soalan senang tp x cukup masa. Aku dh la lembab bab congak2 ni, kalkulator plak x bleh guna. Erm, bencinya. 4th exam, soalan kefahaman BM & BI. Ni very the kacang. Confident bleh score. 5th exam, karangn bhs melayu. Goreng jer. Last paper, karangan BI. Goreng gak wp grammar lintang pukang. Nasib la. 4.45pm exam tamat. Blik sorang2 sbb cik abang x jemput. Msti duk mbuta lg ni.
Apa2 pun, aku dh buat yg tbaik, tawakkal jer. Aku pn x mgharap sgt. Actually, aku prefer exam utk 14 Skim Perkhidmatan. Senang ckit + pelbagai jwtn. Exam tu klau x silap akan diadakan pd bulan April ni. Aku mesti attend. Kna buat preparation lbih ckit kli ni.
"People who believe a problem can be solved tend to get busy solving"
Thursday, February 14, 2008
This Day In History
My Blog List
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Hello Malaysiaaaa5 years ago
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Once again8 years ago
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Tudung Layer12 years ago
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JUN YG MANIS - SIRI 212 years ago
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last week15 years ago
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