Disagreement

Why some people seem to like to disagree?Why do some simple disagreements can turn into major conflicts which can damage relationships?Why we should avoid conflicts?How can we make the disagreement healthy & productive?How to communicate effectively within disagreements?
These are the questions people,i'm also,keeps wondering when disagreements do happen.But we should differentiate between disagreement & conflict.Disagreement is a difference of opinion whereas conflict is a astrong disagreement.Conflict is different than disagreement bcoz' of its -ve effect.We disagree for new ideas, better ways of doing things, change, innovations, better use of resources, new skills".-Quote-
To disgree is natural.For me,disagreement is ok bcoz' we can obtain new & better ideas & ways.But we should stop b4 disagreement turns to conflict bcoz' we can't control conflict & it is harder to manage. So,the solution for disagreement is TOLERANCE.

When 2 people (or more) live together,disagreement will happen bcoz' everyone have different opinion, ideas & needs. Like me & my fiance,at least once a week (sometimes almost everyday) we'll have disagreement.Even though we had known each other 6++ years,we just can't stop disagree with each other.Sometimes it turns into a conflict. He's the man with a lot of egoes & i know he wont give up easily in every argument.So to avoid biogger conflict,i'll stop talking.I'll get out of his sight for awhile,let him cool of.So,for us this is the way to stop the conflict from worsen.

Even though we have manage our last disagreement very well,we still have some to resolve.We still can't decide how to decorate or in easy word,arrange the things in my house.I've allow him to arrange the furniture in my room (going to be our room soon).But now we can't decide where to put my (our) kitchen. Based on the actual house plan,the kitchen is in the house.But the house has a ventilation area,so the landlord changed it into a kitchen.She (the landlord) has fixed an awning,sink & water taps at that area.Since the actual kitchen in small & narrow,i decide to make it the dry kitchen;i can put the kitchen cabinet & fridge here.Whereas the new area can be the wet kitchen where i can cook,cleaning the dish & preparing the ingredients.So that it's much easier to manage & i can cook in comfortable area.No more smell entering the whole house.& people can't see any ugly sights or mess in the kitchen bcoz' right now the actual kitchen can bee seen directly when we open the main entrance.
The problem is my fiance disagree bcoz' he said he didn't feel comfortable at this new space.Since most of the time he use/will use the kitchen,he wants it to be comfy.I asked him to shift the stove into the new area but until today he ignores it.I felt helpless,so i just let him do as he likes.Do whatever he wants.He said he know how to arrange it.The trouble is i'm not sure what he had in his mind bcoz' he said the same thing when i ask him to clean up the store room & the clothes-line (actually he offered himself to do so) but until today i haven't seen any changes to the store room;it still disarray & the clothes-line hasn't been fastened yet.I know one of his nature is he always delay/put off his duty.
Last time,i have 2 chairs & a table in my previous house.I planned to bring them to the new house but he refused to take them at the very last minute.The reason is they couldn't fit in abang zahar's car.I've told him to hire a lorry but he refused.I asked him to move out in the morning bcoz' it always raining in the evening,but as always he refused.The consequences;his friend (a lorry owner) forgot bcoz' it was already late & our belongings are wet soak by rain.Luckily my boss gave me a new table & chairs but one of the chair broken during our last argument.Don't take it wrong,no violence in our argument but he fling the chair onto the wall to show his anger.
I don't know what will happen in the future when we get married.We always had disagreements but we manage to settle it in a 'matured' way.I'm blessed bcoz' our disagreements make us more mature & positive to face any challenges in marriage life.Disagreements show the true person we are;no pretending,no play-act.Avoiding disagreements only hurt our feelings bcoz' we have to conceal our feeling/emotion.It's ok to disagree bcoz' we can learn each other further.

-Eleanor Roosevelt-

Description Of Me

I'm just an ordinary woman who love & , enjoys gossiping , like make-up (even though i hate to use make-up), fond of window shopping & sometimes having fun with friends (i don't call it clubbing as i never went to club/disco/pub). I do have bad day;bad hair days, pimples, pms , sometimes i do bitches on someone else.

I USED TO BE a quiet girl.I'm the quietest girl among my friends during my school days & matriculation years.But i've learned from an experience;people likes to bully quiet people.Just bcoz' i'm quiet doesn't mean i've nothing to say,doesn't mean i agreed to whatever people say,doesn't mean i approve whatever others do to me,doesn't mean i'm a coward.
I always knew i'm a stubborn girl like my father .Maybe bcoz' of the genetic.& my fiance admit it when we have an argument.But bcoz' of my stubborness,i've bcome who i am today.I don't give up easily in whatever i do;study,work,day life,relationship.Bcoz' of my stubborness,i managed to save our relationship even though we faced a lot of difficulties.

I'm kind of girl who's very loyal;family, friends, employer, my fiance.Whatever people said about them,i know them better. I'm a very particular about things;meticulous & diligent.That's why i like working with numbers (even though i USED TO hate maths).

I'm a sympathetic & supportive girl.I lend my shoulder to my friends to cry on.I'll always there whenever they need me.But the downside is it's hard for me to come clean about my problems.I just pretend i've no problem even though my head almost explode.

I USED TO be this kind of girl.I say when i feel i need to say.But now,i'm the most talkative girl in this world.I can talk for the whole day, non-stop.There's always topics to talk about.So whenever i just stay mum (usually when i was angry with him) he'll complain,it's so quiet even we can hear our breath.He feels awkward if i tight-lipped.Bcoz' of my unstopable mouth,i found new friends easily at short time.But sometimes it gives me a headache when people especially guys take it as a wrong signal;when we talk a lot means we interested in them.So now,i only talk to strangers when i have important things to say.

I'm a cheerful girl.I like to smile. Sometimes people thought i had no problem at all in my life. For them,people with problem cannot smile & laugh like me.Oh no,it's a wrong interpretation.I do have a lot of problems but i know how to hide it.Sometimes i'm like 2 different people.When i'm outside the house or with others,i tried to forget my worries.But when i'm alone or at home,sometimes i get nuts thinking of my problems.I don't want to trouble other people bcoz' of my problem.It seems that i can manage my problem wisely.I don't want my personal quandary effects my work vice versa.

Please Keep Clean

I'm really happy to live in a place i call home;lots of privacy & i can do whatever i want to;i can decorate as i wish,i can arrange my furniture where ever i want to as the area is all mine.Whereas b4 this i had to share the kitchen & the bathroom,so the area was so limited.Sometimes it was such a hastle when it comes to cleanliness bcoz' i can't keep the area clean if other tenant can't cooperate.
But now i can keep my house clean.I don't have to mumble to myself anymore when the kitchen or the bathroom get dirty.Yeah,who won't get angry if we're the only one who tried too hard to keep them clean whereas other person just happy to dirty them?
So,it was settle then.But no-no,comes other problems.Other than the noise of the neighbour,i can see one of malaysian's bad habit here.They like to throw away the rubbish every where they like.Most of my neighbours are family.So they got childrens.Other than that,my next-door neighbour is a single man.So,i'm not sure who's the one who's lazy enough.
Infront of my house,there are 2 palm trees with medium height (same level with my house).I see lots of rubbish on that tree;plastic bags,paper etc.It was such an annoying view since my balcony faces the trees.Everytime i sit at my balcony,the first thing i saw was the trees with plastic bags hanging to it.It really makes my eyes sore.Who's the hell are throwing them?Why can't they just throw them in their bin?Or is it they don't have any bin in their house?Or is it they can't afford to buy the bin?
Last week,while i was watching through my bedroom's window,i saw a plastic bag filled with ice cube fall from upstairs onto a car parked below.There was such irresponsible act.If the bag fall into my car,surely i'll go find the responsible people who did it.Wei,u thought the car is the garbage bin or what?
Everyday i have to walk on the dirty stairs.Chocolate wraps,plastic bags,papers,etc.And infront of my next-door neighbour,i can see a lot of cigarette butts.Sometimes i saw him threw the butts onto the tree from his balcony.What a dirty person he is.And there is one more annoying things happen.I always find a box in front of my house door.First time,i just throw it away in the garbage bin infront of the block area.But a few days after that,other box was thrown away in front my house again.I was furious.What's the hell?Can't they just throw it in the big garbage bin on the way to downstairs?The government has provided a big garbage bin mostly infront of main entrance.So,is it hard to just throw it there?
I just didn't understand why can't they just gather their rubbish in a dustbin in their house & then throw them in the garbage bin?I just couldn't blame others as my fiance has this annoying habits.He likes to throw away the rubbish anywhere he likes.When i ask him,he said;there's a worker paid to clean it up.How sweet of him.He even throw rubbish through the kitchen window even the bin just infront of him.But now,since the kitchen is at the center of the house,he had to throw in the bin.I've prepared bins in every room in the house, so no excuse to throw it out.
I think this kind of behaviour has turns into ones habit.Once it turns into a habit,we didn't feel anything even though it's a wrong act.My above neighbours are family.So,didn't they think their children will follow this kind of habit?& if the children did this,why can't their parents forbid them or teach them the right way?My parent taught my siblings to throw the rubbish in the bin.My mum will nag at us if she found out we throw thru the floor (as my house's floor made of timber & it has holes between it) or out from the window.So until now i'll make sure to throw the rubbish in the bin.I'll hold the rubbish until i find the bin or if ican't find any,i put it in my pocket or handbag.So that's why u can find a lot of rubbish in my handbags such as tissues, bus tickets, sweets & chocolate wrappers, small papers, old bank & shopping receipts.I feel guilty if i throw it at unappropriate place.& if i see people littering,i'll stare at them & show my annoyed face.Even if i travel by car or bus,i'll bring along a plastic bag to put the rubbish in.I've seen drivers & their passengers throw the rubbish thru the windows.How do u feel when suddenly a rambutan or duku or langsat skins landed on ur car's mirror/roof?Worst than that,cans.
So,people out there,please keep clean anywhere u go.Please don't litter.Some people just want to keep their house clean but didn't bother about other places.They just glad to litter bcoz' there's someone paid to clean it up.If u can't keep other places clean,how come u can keep ur own place clean?We live in a community.So please be more considerate about others.Don't be selfish.

Kecantikan Lelaki vs Kegagahan Wanita

Kecantikan Lelaki

Kecantikan seorang lelaki bukan kepada rupa fizikal tetapi pada murni rohani. Lelaki yang cantik adalah:-

1) Lelaki yang mampu mengalirkan airmata untuk ingatan

2) Lelaki yang sedia menerima segala teguran

3) Lelaki yang memberi madu setelah menerima racun

4) Lelaki yang tenang dan lapang dada

5) Lelaki yang baik sangka

6) Lelaki yang tak pernah putus asa

Kecantikan lelaki berdiri di atas kemuliaan hati. Seluruh kecantikan yang ada pada Nabi Muhammad adalah kecantikan yang sempurna seorang lelaki.

Kegagahan Wanita

Kegagahan seorang wanita bukan kepada pejal otot badan tetapi pada kekuatan perasaan. Perempuan yang gagah adalah:-

1) Perempuan yang tahan menerima sebuah kehilangan

2) Perempuan yang tidak takut pada kemiskinan

3) Perempuan yang tabah menanggung kerinduan setelah ditinggalkan

4) Perempuan yang tidak meminta-minta agar dipenuhi segala keinginan

Kegagahan perempuan berdiri di atas teguh iman. Seluruh kegagahan yang ada pada Khadijah adalah kegagahan sempurna bagi seorang perempuan.

Cinta Seorang Lelaki

Buat kaum Adam…

Jika benar anda menyintai seorang wanita,
lihatlah sama ada apa yang tertulis di bawah ini
sama seperti apa yang anda alami
dalam melayari dunia percintaan.

Bagi kaum Hawa pula…

Hargailah mereka…
kerana kita tidak akan tahu bila
mereka akan pergi dari sisi kita…

Bercinta ini banyak dugaan dan halangan
yang akan datang tanpa diundang…

Semoga anda bijak memilih
di antara permata dan kaca.

- CINTA SEORANG LELAKI -

Bila lelaki benar-benar jatuh cinta dan setia pada kekasihnya dengan ikhlas
perubahan sikapnya amat mengejutkan…
Hati lelaki yang dianggap keras selama ini
tiba-tiba secara semulajadi menjadi selembut kapas
apabila sudah jatuh cinta dengan relanya
Bahkan lelaki yang mabuk cinta
sanggup berkorban dan buat apa sahaja untuk kekasihnya…
Sekeras manapun hati lelaki
ia akan mengalirkan air mata apabila hatinya dilukai…
untuk melihat lelaki menangis amatlah payah…

Di antara tanda-tanda lelaki yang jatuh cinta dengan hebat ialah;
Dia bersungguh-sungguh melakukan sesuatu untuk kekasihnya dengan rela bukan kerana dipaksa.
Dia sentiasa ingin menghiburkan kekasihnya dan berubah menjadi orang yang kuat bercakap.
Dia banyak menasihati kekasihnya kerana dia amat menyayangi kekasihnya.
Dia berusaha mengongkong kebebasan kekasihnya kerana perasaan cemburunya yang meluap-luap.
Dia sentiasa takut kehilangan kekasihnya.
Dia sentiasa mengawasi pergerakan kekasihnya kerana dia sentiasa berasa curiga.
Dia tidak suka ada lelaki lain rapat dengan kekasihnya.
Dia mudah berasa cemburu dan sensitif apabila kekasihnya tidak menumpukan sepenuh perhatian kepadanya.
Adakalanya dia seperti seorang anak kecil yang meminta perhatian kerana dia mahu kekasihnya melayannya lebih dari orang lain.
Dia menjadi orang yang paling rajin dan sanggup membantu kekasihnya melakukan apa saja.
Dia pandai merajuk hati kerana ingin dipujuk oleh kekasihnya.
Dia akan menggelabah apabila kekasihnya berjauhan daripadanya terlalu lama.
Dia sentiasa mempastikan keselamatan kekasihnya.
Dia mementingkan kekasihnya daripada dirinya sendiri.
Dia kerap bertanya adakah kekasihnya mencintainya kerana dia merasa kasihnya lebih kuat daripada kekasihnya.
Dia tidak akan melayan perempuan lain yang tidak ada urusan penting dengannya.
Dia cuba meluangkan lebih banyak masa dengan kekasihnya walaupun terpaksa menunggu kasihnya dengan sabar.
Dia membanggakan kekasihnya di depan orang lain.
Kalau ditinggalkan oleh kekasihnya, ia akan berasa serik dan tidak percaya dengan cinta perempuan lain namun sentiasa mengharap kekasihnya kembali kepadanya.
Apabila timbul orang ketiga, dia akan hilang akal dan sanggup berbuat apa saja untuk merebut kembali kekasihnya.
Dia menganggap kekasihnya sebagai orang yang paling dipercayainya dan sanggup menyerahkan harta walaupun nyawanya sendiri.
Dia tidak akan berlaku curang kepada kekasihnya namun jikalau berbuat demikian itu bererti hatinya belum 100 peratus mencintai kekasihnya.
Bukan semua lelaki sanggup menitiskan airmata hanya untuk seorang perempuan.

Hawa diciptakan dari rusuk Adam
Bukan dari kepalanya untuk dijadikan pemimpinnya
Bukan dari kakinya untuk dijadikan alasnya
Melainkan dari sisinya untuk dijadikan tempat hidupnya
Dekat dengan lengannya untuk dilindunginya
Dan dekat di hatinya untuk dicintainya…..

Accusation Hurt Me Deeply

Last night,i had a big fight wih my fiance.It's all started when i reach home after work late from usual.Usually i reach home at 5.15 or 5.20pm but yesterday i arrived after 6.00pm.He was already at my house.I was opening the door when he suddenly opened the door from inside & yelled at me;where's the hell u go?why u late?.I was really shocked.B4 i could answer,he triggered me with more question;u said u're going to be home at 5.Why don't u just come home at 8 or 10?Better tomorrow u come home at night.Then he slammed the door.I was speechless.What are u doing at the office until u come late?Are u chatting?Who are u chatting with?Chatting until u come home late?Ntah dgn jantan mana berchatting ntah.Hari2 berchatting.Ckp chatting dgn ain la,shikin la.Jgn2 chatting dgn jantan lain.

Without knowing,my tears drop rapidly.I was tired but b4 i could get into my own house,i was bombarded with acusation.I just could say anything.He didn't give me any chance to explain.I admit i'm late.But not bcoz' i'm chatting or doing other useless thing.It's bcoz' i had alot of work to complete.That morning i reach office at 9.30am.B4 1pm i'm already home to cook lunch.After lunch,i went back to office nearly at 3pm.So,was it wrong for me to work until 6pm?By the way,that evening,site staffs were in the office.So,there were a lot of work to do.They want this,they want that.I've to do everything now since i'm the only one incharge.I've to print this,type that,copy this,fax that,call this & that people.And i even didn't finish my work that evening bcoz' it's already 6.00pm.

The sad thing was,i was accused of doing something else in the office & that thing is chatting.I admit i do chat but only with few of my x-colleagues;ain,shikin & farah.But mostly with ain since she's the one who always had time.It was the cheapest & easiest way to communicate & we're too busy to meet.I've already told him about my chatting friend.All of them are girls & most of them he knew & had met.But he can even accuse me of chatting 'bad things' with my friends;i.e. sex & dirty words.What?We,girls, can talk anything we want.No one had the right to decide what can & cannot to talk about as long as it's general,as long as it's not our secret.

He kept on mumbling nonsense & accused me.I was really disheartened.How could he say such things?He even didn't give me a chance to explain.It's as i've done a big sin.I'm the one who was the bad one.He talked like i'm a bitch.Yes,i felt he think of me as a bitch.'Suka2 bergedik dgn jantan lain'.Why can't he think of what he's saying?Why can't he think b4 he said anything?

How i'm supposed to say to asure him that he's the only one in my life?he's the first & the last man i fall in love with?that i've never fall in love with other man except him?that i'd never had any bf b4 & after him?that after knowing him,i'd closed my eyes & heart to other man?that i never disloyal/dishonest/insincere to him?

Every word coming out of his mouth really broke my heart.I can't stop crying.His words remind me of all the things had happened,all his forgiven misbehaviour.The more i kept silent, the more he kept yelling at me, as if i've done the unforgiven mistake.I just couldn't say anything bcoz' at that time,my heart was crying;how could he says such things?Didn't he ever think of my feeling b4 he said that?After all this time,i've tried to compromise with him.I forgave & forgot his misdeeds.I've never lever his past.I know he had someone else on the same time he has me.I know he met her often.I know her name even he tried to hide it from me.I know her whereabout.My heart broke into pieces when i found out he had another gf instead of me.I used to ask him the truth but he denied such things.So i never lever it again even though deep down inside my heart i know he lied.

How could he says such things to me?I know i'm not fit/suitable with him.I've a lot of weaknesses.I've been trying to forget them but his words bring back the feelings.And the feeling & those memories makes me crying a lot.Every time his word poundering into my head,it break my heart & the tears seems can't stop falling.

After all this time,i believe him very much.I never stop him doing whatever he wants.I never suspicious his doing.& i tried to hide my jealousy.But why can't he believe in me?Why can't he just stop his jealousy?I told him everything even my chatting friend bcoz' i don't want him to get suspicious but i never though that he will use this against me.Now i understand why my x-colleague once said,after this i'll never tell things that happen in the office to my husband bcoz' someday he'll use it against me.

I'm just doing my job.I've been paid to do my jobs.I always late to the office & went back on time.I went back for lunch more than expected time.Since yesterday i had urgent things to finish,i went back late.So,why can't he just understand that?

I cried for hours.He didn't seems to console me as usual.I hide myself in the store room bcoz' i just can't see his face.I really mad at him of accusing me.What,he thinks me a bitch?He kept on asking (actually accusing) me.When i didn't say anything,he got really mad.He started to throw things.But when he started mocking me,i can't stop myself of throwing whatever things i saw infront of me.I know he was shocked of my reactions.At that time,i got really mad & i just couldn't keep quiet anymore.

I told him i'm gonna send my resign letter today.I don't want to work anymore bcoz' he seems couldn't believe in me.He seems suspicious of what i'm doing at the office.So,to stop this nonsense,it's better if i stay at home.Stop meeting others,stop talking to others, if that all he wants.He can keep me for himself only.I'm happy to stay at home bcoz' i'm tired of working.I've been working for so long but still i had nothing.I can't even eat food i like.I can't even buy cloths i love.Not even a hp or car.I think,it's better if he works alone & i stay at home to be a fulltime housewife.

Last night,it seems like both of us don't want to quit.Me?I know,he used to say i'm a very hardheaded person;not easy to surrender/give up on arguments.I realized that & i tried to be more lenient/softhearted.But this time i just couldn't do it as i'm innocent.I had done nothing wrong.I just didn't care if he wants to prolong this argument.I know,i'm stupid bcoz' i nearly did something foolish last night.I didn't mean it.I just want to threaten him.& u know what,i succeed.

At last,he tried to comfort me.I know,he had come to his conciousness.But i just couldn't accept it.He had broke my heart very bad.I went to sleep with the tears & sob.I just didn't know how to face him today as my heart still hurt.