Fat

How do u feel when people said that u're fat when the truth is u're fat? I used to be fat when was in matrics programme. When i was small, i was very thin, may be bcoz' i'm not a healthy kid at that time. But when i got my first period, my body hormone changed. & at that time, i became inactive. B4 that i cycled to school but starting form 4, i went to school by bus. Then i went into matrics programme. At that time i can't really adapt myself to the new surrounding, so most of the time i stayed in my room, sleeping without realizing that habbit has made me gained weight. From 50++ kg (below 55), into 60++ kg. Everyone especially people at home & my relatives said i'm fatt. The gave me names like debab, buntal etc. I was hurt.
But then once i went into degree programme, i became active again & managed to shed my weight. I managed to maintain my weight until i went to kl. But once i met my now husband, my weight went yo-yo; sometimes it gained, sometimes it went down, may be bcoz' of my husband's habbit. He likes to eat & when he wanted to eat, i've to accompany him & i've to eat too. But once i'm engaged, my weight went overboard; 70++. So right now i'm became fatter than b4 & i'm trying to shed off a few kilo for health reason. My husband didn't mind with my weight, may be bcoz' he's 'bigger' than me, but i'm concious with my health since i'm reaching the 'metabolisme disorder' period. B4 this i can shed my weight by starving my self by eating once a day or by jogging for 30 minutes thrice per week. But now, even though i'm not eating, still my weight hasn't gone down.
Enough with the story of myself. Actually i'm gonna write about my friend. 2 days ago she came to see me. She was unhappy & worried bcoz' her mother kept on asking when will she get married. She just turn into 24 this year but her mother already asked her to ger married. Her problem is she has no one; no bf, no candidate. After she she broke off with her bf (actually her bf left her), she lost her interest to start a new relationship. She lost her passion to look as vogue as b4. Even though she was the XXXL size girl, i salute her bcoz' she was brave to wear cloths that i'm not going to wear. She didn't like to hide her body shape. She was not afraid to show off her shape. She liked to wear make-up. For the girl with her size, she was really brave.
But now she didn't mind with all of that. She losts her senses to look beautiful. No make up. She wore whatever she can find. She gained her weight again. I'm not sure how much is her weight right now. Last time 100++ kg. Bcoz' of her weight, she's not confident to go into a new relationship. She believed that no man will want her. According to her friend's experience, no matter ugly that man, he'll find a slimmer girl to be his couple. Her friend's fiance broke off their engagement bcoz' her friend is fat. Just bcoz' of that.
Why people so double standard? It's not that they wanted to be fat. If they were given chance, they want to be slimmer. I've a few friend & cousin who can be categorized as fat & they also have no mate. Even if there is a man want to befriend them, they actually have other reason. For instance money. Like this friend, she spent a lot of money to her x-bf. For almost 2 years, she gave him whatever he wanted but in the end he left her for more beautiful girl & the most important thing is slimmer.
I pray to god that sooner or later she will find a sincere man, man who can see inside her, not to her appearance.